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[webshoots]

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PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

— the amazing, sensational, spectacular spider-man

— & generally neurotic superhero
— voice / image / text
— action.

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[webshoots]

Answer: It was when I realized I was beginning to miss my bad guys.

Even Stilt Man.

[gwenzelle]

first of all
i seriously can't picture you with a beard.
can you even do that?

and second
stilt man!!

[gwenzelle]

but yeah, i get it.
i don't miss most of mine yet.

there's a couple that i think about, though.
i can't imagine the shit they get up to now that i'm gone.

[webshoots]

Gwendyolyn Stacy, are you doubting my integrity?

[ answer: no. he cannot grow a beard. ]

I'm just grateful that Otto's a good guy now.
Mostly.

[ and that there's the avengers, and miles, and the ff—. ]

[gwenzelle]

i'm doubting your
beardtegrity

that's another weird one
i mean mean my otto has a pet octopus instead of mechanical arms like
all the other universes so
i guess i win that one

[webshoots]

Sooo

All the villains in your world are just doing their best impression of Ace Ventura, is what you're saying?

[gwenzelle]

i wouldn't call the bodega bandit a villain, but, huh.
yeah, kinda.
a handful of them kinda are.
what a weird thought.

aaaaalrighty, then.

[webshoots]

Criminal, but I'm not sure in our line of the work the distinction really matters.
(Don't tell Osborn I said that.)

I'm so glad this is text.