look, to be really, really clear, i'm dropping the concern but if you're actually worried, it'd be great to know rather than going off on tangents. sound fair?
[ don't be obnoxious and make a joke here, parker—
is the thought that runs through his mind at that, because that's a legitimately touching response from jason, and it's not necessarily one he would have expected.
occasionally, he's called out on his response to uncomfortable situations — by tony, by johnny, by mj. even by marnie, and it's not something he particularly enjoys, but he also doesn't particularly enjoy acknowledging anything that's a genuine concern.
briefly, he thinks of the time that he'd thought, possibly, that he might have been dying before — okay, before he kind of did die, and his reaction had been a mixture of IGNORE! combined with 'inadvertantly drive mj to despair', and—.
okay, he's aware it's not the best response to have, but he's not sure what the alternative would be. ]
There's a machine down at the Night Market that gives out answers to whatever question can think to ask it.
I asked a couple of questions, payment was to make me feel like garbage, apparently. Have I felt better? Definitely. Have I felt worse? Hoo boy, you don't do this job every day for thirteen years and not spend approximately a week out of every month wondering if that headache's just sleep deprivation or if that guy with the ugly schnozz and a man purse really did throw you into a wall a touch too hard, right?
When I say I know my limits, I know my limits. Not paying attention to them's how I ended up here. Not keen on making that mistake twice.
[ or like, for fourth time. whatever. almost honest, you know. ]
[ a... surprisingly earnest response. it took a lot to get there, but jason knows how it is. he doesn't like it when people pry with him, so the last thing he wants to do is pry if there isn't some sort of cry for help. he just wanted to make sure that wasn't the signal peter was sending out.
he's still not entirely sure it's not, but he's satisfied with that. ]
yeah, something. but if the price is too much, sometimes you're better off just finding things on your own.
especially if you don't know the right questions to ask. which is where i think we're at. we're still trying to figure out what the hell's going on with half the information-- and no good place to get it except for looking on our own. like, dark thought here. but these are world eaters, right?
you ever feel like this place is just a town, that it doesn't feel like a whole world?
Yeah. I'm not planning on asking it anything else and I'm not convinced anything that would be worth knowing would be the worth the price we'd have to pay for it.
(Someone I know back home impressed that on me pretty deeply once or twice.)
That said... knowing it knows what it does? I'm not sure how to feel about that. There's a lot some people would do for that kind of information.
But the people that have it? Have had it for a while. If it has the answers to our survival, to defeating the World Eaters, either no-one knows how to ask it, or... It doesn't. I'm not sure which thought is more comforting.
[ is the first message. the second takes a little longer to come. beacon feels like a lot of things, but peter'd agree it doesn't feel like an entire world. he's not sure it's supposed to. ]
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but if you're actually worried, it'd be great to know
rather than going off on tangents. sound fair?
1/2
2/3
is the thought that runs through his mind at that, because that's a legitimately touching response from jason, and it's not necessarily one he would have expected.
occasionally, he's called out on his response to uncomfortable situations — by tony, by johnny, by mj. even by marnie, and it's not something he particularly enjoys, but he also doesn't particularly enjoy acknowledging anything that's a genuine concern.
briefly, he thinks of the time that he'd thought, possibly, that he might have been dying before — okay, before he kind of did die, and his reaction had been a mixture of IGNORE! combined with 'inadvertantly drive mj to despair', and—.
okay, he's aware it's not the best response to have, but he's not sure what the alternative would be. ]
no subject
There's a machine down at the Night Market that gives out answers to whatever question can think to ask it.
I asked a couple of questions, payment was to make me feel like garbage, apparently.
Have I felt better? Definitely.
Have I felt worse? Hoo boy, you don't do this job every day for thirteen years and not spend approximately a week out of every month wondering if that headache's just sleep deprivation or if that guy with the ugly schnozz and a man purse really did throw you into a wall a touch too hard, right?
When I say I know my limits, I know my limits. Not paying attention to them's how I ended up here.
Not keen on making that mistake twice.
[ or like, for fourth time. whatever. almost honest, you know. ]
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he's still not entirely sure it's not, but he's satisfied with that. ]
fair enough. i get it. trust me.
were the answers worth it?
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That's got to be worth something.
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especially if you don't know the right questions to ask. which is where i think we're at. we're still trying to figure out what the hell's going on with half the information-- and no good place to get it except for looking on our own. like, dark thought here. but these are world eaters, right?
you ever feel like this place is just a town, that it doesn't feel like a whole world?
no subject
(Someone I know back home impressed that on me pretty deeply once or twice.)
That said... knowing it knows what it does? I'm not sure how to feel about that. There's a lot some people would do for that kind of information.
But the people that have it? Have had it for a while. If it has the answers to our survival, to defeating the World Eaters, either no-one knows how to ask it, or... It doesn't. I'm not sure which thought is more comforting.
[ is the first message. the second takes a little longer to come. beacon feels like a lot of things, but peter'd agree it doesn't feel like an entire world. he's not sure it's supposed to. ]
You saying you think this is all that's left?